Jeremy drives a school bus, a half route (either morning or afternoon). Earlier in the week, he heard over the radio this, "Yeah, some girl left her baby on the bus. She's probably gonna need it." It was something along those lines. It was one of those computerized birth control babies they give out as a potential grade in high school health classes. We saw some former students at Sonic in Iuka yesterday sitting at the picnic tables with their robo-babies. Naturally, I congratulated them. hardy har!
I got to thinking, so I asked. "Hey, girls, how come I don't see any of the guys with those stinkin' babies?" They answered, "Well, Mrs. Smith, the boys get the option of writing an essay or keeping the baby over the weekend like us." Oh, ta-hell-no! Can you friggin believe that? They can impregnate, but they are not asked to participate in this program? Letter time! I'll write a letter that never gets answered. That's just an activity I participate in to keep my mind healthy and my blood pressure just slightly above where it should be.
To quote Napoleon Dynamite, "Gah!"
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That's fucking bullshit but it's also kind of like real life. Trust me, as a DHS employee, I know what I'm talking about. Had a client who had to name the father of her baby the other day and she sent me a long, rambling letter, which concluded it might have been a man who, rumor has it, already had up to 8 kids with other women. These dudes need to be fixed, yo.
ReplyDeleteAlso, this story reminds me of the time Angela had to do this for Ms. Camper. The baby had a plastic key in its back that you had to keep turned until it was "comforted." Anyway, over the weekend when she had to keep it at home, the key broke off in its back and it spent the majority of the weekend in her her car (the LeMans!) crying its plastic lungs out.
I'm a letter writer, comment-card-completer, and a home-office-caller, so maybe we should team up and change this b.s. program in Iuka. Ugh. What year is it?
ReplyDeleteSo... Here's where you've been hiding. :-)
ReplyDeleteMiss you on Funny or Die, but at least I have a new blog to follow.
- Kenny G.
Aw, Kenny G. When I get a little break from school, I'll be back.
ReplyDeleteHurray! We'll be waiting.
ReplyDeleteI remember doing that in Home Ec. with a stupid 5 lb. bag of flour! Our first assignment was to find a boy to "sign up" to be the father. I was in 7th grade, and WAY too shy to go up to some boy and ask him to father my baby! I think they took a few points off our grade if we didn't. I just thought the whole assignment was stupid and completely un-informative. Carrying around a bag of flour or a robot is nothing compared to being a "mom"! Goh, yeah, write that letter!
ReplyDelete